Cherish…I love this word. I cherish my great grandmother’s quilts that hang lovingly in our home. I cherish my daughter’s dedication gown that’s made out of my wedding dress. I cherish these items. But, to me the word, cherish, means so much more than an emotional attachment to an object. It’s a relational word. The reason I cherish these objects is because of whom they belonged to.  So, today, I want to explore what it means to cherish your spouse. It’s not a word we use much today…but it’s still a powerful word full of meaning.

Cherish means to cultivate with care and affection, to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely. Let’s break down each meaning of cherishing and see how it can help us have a healthy, loving marriage.

  1. To cultivate with care and affection: Honestly, when I first got married this took me a while to figure out. The word cultivates always reminds me of a field of crops or a garden. My mom had a rose garden. To make her roses the best they could be, she would meticulously prune them, weed around them and fertilize them with – believe it or not, Maxwell coffee grounds. When the roses bloomed she would place vases of them around our home. So how do you cultivate your marriage? One thing I had to do was learn to keep the weeds out by being slow to speak. I can have a sharp tongue so I’ve learned to think before I speak so I don’t inflict damage with my words. Something else that keeps the weeds out is prayer. Praying for your husband every day helps your marriage to thrive and stay healthy. Like most men, my husband loves physical touch so I had to be sensitive to his needs for physical affection. He loves it when I hold his hand or put my arm around him in public. Here are some more ideas on how to cultivate care and affection:
  • Write a love letter to your husband and put it in his wallet, backpack or briefcase.
  • Put a sweet or sexy message on his bathroom mirror.
  • Brag about him in front of your friends and family.
  • Know his dislikes and likes.
  1. To harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely: I view my marriage as a gift from God. On our wedding day, Mark and I made a covenant before God and to one another, and so we are resolute in our determination to make our marriage healthy and thriving. Because it is a priority to us, we have a date night every week. We keep the date on our calendars and we make sure nothing takes precedent over our time together. Here are some ideas to keep your marriage in your mind deeply and resolutely:
  • Set regular date nights.
  • Re-read old love letters…and write some new ones too!
  • Share with your spouse what you value about him.
  • Create an “I love you because” jar. Get a Mason jar and write on several pieces of paper the reason why you love your husband and then have him pull out a piece of paper a day.
  • Celebrate and honor your anniversary…don’t let it go by without celebrating your special day. Some couples even celebrate the day they met, or the day they got engaged. Have fun and be creative.

I’d love to hear your ideas of how to cherish your husband!

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Julia Mateer

Laughing hard with friends, strong black tea, quiet moments with her husband, are some of Julia's favorite things. One of her greatest joys is having authentic conversations with women about relationships, parenting, and leadership.

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