Book Study Session One
The Life-Giving Difference
Hi Ladies and welcome to our first session together! I’m delighted you’ve chosen to be a part of the FB study of my book, Life-Giving Leadership: A Woman’s Toolbox for Leading. Before we jump in, make sure to answer the questions at the end in the comment section. Let’s begin!
Chapter One, The Life-Giving Difference, open with my story of a visit to church versus Tina’s first visit to church. Wow, what a difference between the two. Share with me your first experience in church and did it compare to mine or Tina’s, and if so, how?
The stories I relate to the most in the Bible are the life-giving encounters between Jesus and women. One of my FAVORITE stories in the Bible is the story of the Samaritan woman from John 4. I love how Jesus encounters her and loves her despite her past, and gives her fresh hope and a new beginning. When have you been given a new beginning? When have you experienced His fresh grace?
For those of you struggling with being defined by your past, the Bible says that when we know Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are adopted into His family. We become His daughters. Fatherhood may be a hard concept for you to grasp if you have father issues, so begin by focusing on His promise in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never fail you or abandon you. (New Living Translation)
The secret to life-giving leadership is emotional health. Emotional health or the lack of it manifests in interpersonal relationships. Those who are emotionally healthy are friendlier, more expressive, confident, self-trusting, trusting of others, less troubled by mental health issues, and criticism.
For example, the bouffant-polyester woman’s emotional immaturity inhibited her from accepting me, a young girl visiting her church, seeking an encounter with the living God. Criticalness and judgment oozed out of her. There are several reasons for the stunted emotional growth and emotional immaturity. Here are a few:
* Poor parenting or the absence of a parent resulting in abandonment issues.
* Insecurities resulting from a weak sense of self-identity or self-worth.
* Sexual, physical or emotional abuse.
* A catastrophic event in a young child’s life such as a death of a loved one or divorce can inhibit healthy emotional development.
So what are we to do if our backgrounds include one or several of the incidences mentioned above? People that are life-giving, emotionally mature, able to love others freely have experienced the love of God. They understand that the love of God is a safe place for their hearts. Experiencing the love of God empowers you to forgive yourself and others. Forgiving others empowers you to love others unconditionally.
Life-giving leadership is embedded in love and begins within and is manifested in our relationships with those we lead. To unlock the mystery of love, just look at the healthy relational principles listed in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-6. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged.” Applying these principles to our leadership creates healthy, life-giving relationships which in turn create healthy, life-giving churches that attract the unsaved, the uncommitted and the unchurched.
Questions: How many of you practiced basking in His presence as mentioned on page 33? What is your favorite verse about God’s love for you? Could you relate more to life-giving Lilly or the bouffant-polyester woman? Which tree do you lead from? How can you be more life-giving in your interactions with women?
Prayer: Father, we love you, and it’s our heart’s desire to live out of the tree of life and not out of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Help us to love others with the life-giving nature of Jesus. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Generation Eve
Conversations That Matter
Julia Mateer
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Hello Julia, I was so fortunate to first experience a church that was growing, exciting and life-giving.at the age of 6. I was picked up Sunday after Sunday, taken to Sunday School, loved and made to feel like a part of the family there. It was through their perseverance and Christ-likeness that eventually (3 years later) led my parents to become Christians which changed the trajectory of my life. I am so thankful that they truly modeled what it means to be a church just like in the book of Acts.
That’s wonderful Cheryl. What a great story of Christ’s love reflected and the impact it had on your life. Love this!
Thanks so much Julia for this online class! I took the class once at your house and presently doing it a second time here. God is taking me deeper in the ideas and concepts that you share in your book! Loved the first chapter! Focus on the relationship rather than the behaviors that come out of others. Allow love to be the thing that is in the center of every relationship!
Hi Rhonda! I’m so happy you are reading through the book again. Great to have you!
Thank you Julia. Time is such a precious commodity with children and work. I picked up your book at church a while back when I was dealing with difficulties in the workplace. Your uplifting words and encouragement have been priceless. I agree with Rhonda. Focusing on the relationship rather than the behaviors of others is refreshing and makes room for love instead of the many other feelings that could take place.
Love this perspective, Stephanie. So grateful my book was helpful to you. Bless you and Happy Easter!
Hi Julia, I come from a very dysfunctional family very dysfunctional that’s only for the love of Christ can I be anything at all!! I was basically raised in five different homes. Was sexually abused emotionally abused physically abused…. I had a brain bleed in 2009 which left me disabled.., I wasn’t even supposed to live! God blessed me with a wonderful husband and children that help me! Thank you for listening, Gina
Hi Gina…Thanks for commenting. Praise God for His restoration and love…and for your wonderful family!
Hi Julia…I may be the “Debbie Downer” in this group, at this time! I did not grow up in church; my family is Jewish, and rarely did we go to Temple. My parents were divorced when is was 16 and it broke up our family. I floundered for many years as to where my place in the world was. No proper guidance from my parents, and no Gd in our lives. I’ve walked into a church numerous times, following dear friends who had found Jesus…and I wanted what they had. I’ve walked forward many times, but with no church to support my walk, and no friends to really help me grow, I floundered again…for years.
It wasn’t until my husband and I came to Parrish, in 2011, did we decide that our family needed spirituality. My very dear friend suggested her church. In February, 2012, we walked into Bayside. We found our home, we found Gd, and we found Jesus. There is so much more to my story, but that’s it in a nutshell! It’s been a difficult road; I had to start from scratch. My husband is Catholic, and knows Jesus, but being Jewish, I did not. I learn every day and am determined to grow into a life-giving mother, wife and leader. That’s a tall order, but I’m working on it! Thank you for offering a way to help do that <3
Hi Stacy! I LOVE your story. Thanks for sharing. Our God is amazing isn’t He?! So wonderful that you’re at Bayside. Bless you.
Thank you for your kind words, Julia!